Healing From Religious Fear with Cara Barone

Fear can be stubborn. You can pray hard, believe sincerely, and still feel that tight, buzzing anxiety in your chest that keeps you awake at night. Mark Casto sits down with neurostrategist Cara Barone to name what so many Christians quietly carry: sometimes what we call a spiritual battle is also a nervous system pattern, a trauma loop, and a learned way of living in fight or flight.

We go straight to the root belief that drives so much stress and overperformance: “I’m not enough.” Cara breaks down overfunctioning versus shutdown patterns, how chronic stress rewires the brain through neuroplasticity, and why fear-based religion can accidentally train people to practise shame, hypervigilance, and self-focus. Mark connects it to beloved identity and the idea that you become what you behold, making “perfect love casts out fear” both a promise and a practical direction for your attention.

You’ll also hear what nervous system regulation actually means (hint: not permanent calm), how early imprints and generational stress can live in the body, and what a real 90-minute neurorewiring session looks like. Cara shares simple tools you can try right away, including practising a safe memory and using a belly breath with humming to support the vagus nerve and signal safety. We also talk about discernment and mental health, including when someone needs a licensed therapist or doctor rather than coaching.

If you’re a pastor, leader, high performer, or exhausted believer who wants to lead from rest instead of pressure, this one is for you. Subscribe, share this with a friend who’s been stuck in anxiety, and leave a review so more people can find the freedom they’ve been praying for.

Transcript

Why Fear Lingers After Prayer

SPEAKER_03 0:03

All right, welcome to the Shepherd's Tent with Mark Casto. And on today's episode, and here's a question that I think a lot of us are afraid to ask out loud is what do you do when you've prayed, you've believed, you've done everything right, and yet the fear is still there, like still in your chest, still keeping you up at night. Well, my guest today, Cara Barone, knows that place personally. She grew up carrying fear wrapped up in religion. And what she discovered is that some of what we're calling a spiritual battle is actually happening in our body, in the nervous system that God gave us. So her work helps people quiet that fear and untangle the beliefs that are running under underneath all of that. So this is going to be one of those honest conversations. It's going to be practical. And if you ever felt like your faith and your anxiety were at war, this conversation is for you. So I want you to get ready to hear from a neurostrategist. I love this stress slayer and future self-activator. Kara, welcome to the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

That was great. Thanks, Mark. What an intro.

SPEAKER_03 1:13

Hey, I I love when I got on your Instagram for the first time and I was like, stress slayer is such a ferocious term. I loved it. It was awesome.

unknown 1:23

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:24

It was really awesome. Well, thank you again for joining us on the podcast. And I want to dive right into these questions that I've prepared because I've been on this, and you know this because we've kind of talked back and forth um on Instagram. But this is like new territory for me. And so um being a pastor and a minister for all these years, um, you know, I grew up in the Pentecostal tradition. So it's just like just have an encounter with God and move on, get over it, move on and act like nothing, nothing's wrong. And uh, you know, the fake it till you make it type of thing. And so we never really talked about, we always quoted Romans chapter 12 of uh be transformed by the renewing of your mind, but I don't think we ever took any practical steps on what mind renewal looked like. And so today I really invited you on because I've watched your content, I've I've watched some interviews that you've done, and I just love your spirit, I love your heart behind what you teach. And uh I want to introduce our audience to somebody that's been in this for a while, going, hey, there's some real mind renewal things that we're missing, especially as Christians, because we're so scared that it's new age or it's something funky or flaky. And I really want to dive into this today and talk with you. So it means the world that you're here. So let's start with this question. So you help people remove beliefs that they don't even know that they're carrying. So what's a belief

The Hidden Belief Of Not Enough

SPEAKER_03 2:55

that almost everyone is walking around with and doesn't even realize is really like running the show?

SPEAKER_00 3:05

I'm not enough. In some way, shape, or form. Enough for God, pleasing enough for him. I haven't performed well enough, I haven't been listening enough, obedient enough, or in a whole nother context, right? Smart enough, pretty enough, uh all of those. I think that is a deep core one that I can speak more. You can probably speak from the male perspective, but I coach female. So from the female perspective, that's definitely the one. And where I see it, how it comes out, is overperformance, over functioning. And then we wonder why everyone's so in cycles of stress addiction, because we think we're not doing enough for God. So we clearly got to keep going more, and then our brain never shuts off, and it just becomes this truly constant, it's it's an addiction. It's actually um, you know, we become the two emotions that we practice the most. And I I say that word with a little fear to share that, but that that is what it is, right? Um, and that is how hormones work in your physiology as well.

SPEAKER_03 4:13

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this is this is so big for me uh because you know, I got tossed into the ministry when I was really young. I always tell people that um I found out what I was really good at doing before I found out who I really was, and that's like a recipe for disaster. And so you immediately get on this Tread Miller performance, and you're exactly right. If you don't know who you are, then everything will be based off of that performance and production value. And so I found myself like never going like the scriptures say we're supposed to go from glory to glory, but I found myself doing the roller coaster, the ups and downs, and it was directly connected to I knew what I was doing, I but I had no clue about my being. And so I I love that I love that you're saying that because it's that's that is the source of the overproduction. Am I enough? Well, if your identity's in your gifting, you'll always be asking that question. Do you see that a lot? Do you see that a lot with people that you you talk to?

SPEAKER_00 5:16

Every single person, every single person in some way, shape, or form. I tend so there's there's two types of people for the most part. When you're working or living from some sort of survival area, which most people are, unless we are really living in the day-to-day, glory to glory, right? The completeness of the promises, which looks like the fruits, right? Most of us aren't though, if we're really, really, really honest, right? So if not, there's two types of survival patterns. You're gonna overfunction, which is rumination, overthinking, pleasing, overworking, or the opposite. And this is found usually in more people with burnout patterns, or those who have had a lot of trauma in their life, or emotionally unavailable parents, under function. These are the people who had these big callings, but they can't do it. They can't take the steps, they can't get out of bed, they're more in apathy or depression. And so these two survival patterns there's not one better than the other, whatever it might be, right? But those are the things that are based in different rooted beliefs that need to change their lives, but most people are so overcome by them because, and this is really big, a belief is there because number one, people have evidence of it, usually a lot of evidence in the form of memories, right? And two, there's an emotional response connected. So if we feel a lot of over anxiety, we just think it's who we are. We don't know how to get out of it. We don't know how to move. So that's usually the patterns I see coming up. I tend to work with people who are more in the overfunctioning. However, a lot of people will come to me when they're in the stuck pattern, which feels more like freeze, like I want to, but I can't, I wanna, but I can't. Because, and this was me,

Overfunctioning And Burnout Patterns

SPEAKER_00 7:10

their whole life they worked in the overfunction, and eventually your actual physical body will burn out. And we saw that big, big time during the pandemic.

SPEAKER_03 7:19

Oh, yeah. Listen, you're already dropping some gold here. So uh let's back up real fast because I want people to really like know, know you, know your story. So, so take me back and to you know, some of the story you shared with me. What was your own relationship with like religion and fear before you got into this work?

SPEAKER_00 7:43

Yeah. So I always grew up in church in some way, shape, or form. Definitely, you know, in your college years, you kind of do your own thing a bit. But mindset was really, really big for me my whole life. I was a basketball player, so Michael Jordan taught me, right? Like I would visualize like him, I would mentally rehearse like him. So I had a very strong mindset always. Um, I would memorize scriptures, I would say them out loud over myself, right? I was always just go, go, go and affirm, affirm, affirm. And but I was an overfunctioner, like we just talked about. So whether it was basketball, whether I worked at LinkedIn for gosh, 11 years, um, three different countries, and I had my own business for eight years. So I was juggling both, as well as just traveling around. I was living between London and Australia at the time. And I just couldn't turn my brain off. I was like in such an over-functioning role all the time. But I thought it was normal, right? That's what America says is successful. So I was like, let's do more, let's make more money, let's keep going, right? Let's never learn how to slow down. And then eventually, it was actually during the pandemic. I was in Australia. I had just moved there, I had knew no one, the pandemic happened, and I moved into my apartment that very day when the whole world shut down.

SPEAKER_03 9:07

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm living all the way across the world. And but I was like, I don't care. I'm building my business, I'm just gonna do that, I'll make a lot of money and I'll quit. I'll move back home. I had all these plans. God had very, very different plans. And during that time, I had also a lot of chronic health conditions. So I had mold poisoning beginning when I lived in London, so three and a half years prior to that. And it was one of those mystery illnesses. I just couldn't figure out why I was so tired, why I was so fatigued, why I was like gaining weight and really like itchy and breaking out. Couldn't figure it out for many, many, many years. So, anyways, think of it as this perfect storm, right? Overworking, no no one, in the pandemic, can't see my family for two and a half years. And then it's just I'm learning all of these healing techniques because every my health is getting worse and worse and worse. And everyone says, you cannot heal if you are in chronic stress. And I'm like, well, I'm not what what do you mean I'm not in chronic stress? And I actually really had to realize what that meant. So when you're in a constant fight or flight, which is overthinking, which is go, go, go, when you're chronically there, what happens? Your body, your brain perceives it that a lion is right next to you all the time. So if a lion was actually next to you all the time, because this is our reptilian brain, our old brain, you are either going to fight the lion or run for the lion. So you can't calm down, you can't slow down. Everything's go go go because you're literally thinking a lion's next to you. So with that, what happens? Your immune system goes down. You don't need an immune system if the lion's next to you. You are constantly have a heart racing, pupils dilated, hyper-vigilant, hyper-focused. You are not able to digest food correctly. So all these supplements that these doctors are putting you on don't really work too much. So, long story short, I really had to learn some different techniques how to calm my nervous system. So, when you hear the word regulation, regulate your nervous system, it's a very trendy word, I would say now. But what does that really mean? It just means being in connection. It doesn't mean that you're always calm, but you are connected to whatever you're doing. You're present, you're grounded. So went through all that. And then I found God in a deeper way, I guess you would say. Like, you know, you just pray for more of the encounters, and then I found these groups, and I was just all God, all Jesus to the extreme, because that's what I do, right? That's what most of us probably do. And through all these nervous system techniques, I was actually, it was really helping and really working. My stress, my anxiety down, I would say 50, 60%. And I was like getting out of this brain fog, like my health was starting to do well. However, when I went into these different church groups that I would say was more religious, it was very fear-based. Very you need to be focused on your sin and not sinning. And these techniques that you're doing, breathing, that's demonic. Breathing's demonic. And um anything that is not praying to Jesus is demonic. So regulating your nervous system, demonic. And I was really just wanted to pray, please the Lord. I was like seeing like miracles and success and all these things. I was like, I don't want to do demonic practices. And at this time, I'm teaching this in my business too. So you can imagine what's happening inside my body. Like, I can't sell these, I can't sell this anymore. I'm gonna lead people astray. So what I started doing was, oh, fear, cast that out, gotta get rid of that. And I wasn't actually using any of the things and the tools, the way I knew the brain actually worked because the church was telling me it was so bad. So eventually snapped out of

Cara’s Story Fear-Based Religion

SPEAKER_00 13:25

all that, and I just saw what was going on. And um, here are the two things that completely transform everything. So hopefully someone hears this and um might find some revelation themselves. I had to understand that things were complete and I was whole and perfect. That doesn't mean everything I did was perfect, that doesn't mean every thought I had was perfect, but he did it for me. I didn't have to keep doing everything for myself. I didn't have to cast out things and be focused on negativity all the time and focus on fear all the time. And I started to notice once I had that revelation, the people around me that were there, they were focused, they were in survival all the time. They were focused on fear all the time. So, what happens to your brain when you're practicing fear all the time? You create neural pathways, you create a brain that is fear-based. So, are you looking for love that's out there and how you can help people? No, you're looking for casting out demons on people. And you will get whatever you are looking at.

SPEAKER_03 14:25

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

So that was number one. That was my huge pivotal aha moment. And the second was perfect love cast set off here. And once I realized that and that I didn't have to cast off anxiety, and I didn't have to say 20 million affirmations a day, I started to use techniques in my own physiology to get into states of love, not states of survival, which I I don't like to say this, but I find a lot of Western churches teach how to stay in survival. I didn't want survival. I want actually promises.

Family Table Partner Invitation

SPEAKER_03 15:11

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Beloved Identity And Perfect Love

SPEAKER_03 16:25

so good. You know, I think it's interesting that when you bring this, like your life is being transformed. Um, you're actually going through the process of mind renewal and you're connecting with people make it about the techniques, but it's like, how is it demonic to breathe when God created you to breathe? You know, and and it it gets into silliness because I grew up in the Pentecostal legalism, everything's a demon, and everything's evil. And as I got older, I got introduced to what we call beloved identity. And beloved identity is knowing that you are loved with the same love that the Father has for his son Jesus. And when, and that's the perfect love that you're talking about, the agape love of God, which is this love that is um without condition. Yeah, and there's a place when you start to actually believe that that you start realizing as you look around, all this religious trappings that you've been placed in and your minds been placed in. And again, everybody is so fear-based, and they're like, You need to be, I love what you just said because it's so true. You need to be focused on your sin without sinning. And it's like, well, the principle is you become what you behold. So, like, if sin is always the thing that is put in your face, you will never end the cycle. And so, what I say is one of the first deliverances I got from in beloved identity wasn't an exorcism, it was a deliverance of myself and navel gazing, and always looking within and always trying to find out what's wrong and where did I miss it, and how did I screw up? Because the principle is true, and and I think you'll agree with this. Second Corinthians 3 18 says this that we all with unveiled faces are beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, and we're being transformed into that same image. That's where we get the concept of you become what you behold. And so it's so funny how religion will always keep you focused on yourself, focused on all the areas of your life that's broken and messed up and sinful, but never gives you permission to look at the one who walks in perfect love. It's wild to me.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

100%. And that's where you will actually get true beliefs, true states of being, actually true love. Like we talk about the fruit. Do we just talk about it for no reason? You know, like practice it more. And when we think about the revelation I had to really have why I could even teach this work again, because I was really stuck for a while because I didn't want to lead people astray, is when you really understand how the brain actually works, which he gave us. He gave us a brain, he gave us a body, and whatever we think about the most is how we are in the world, right? It's our thoughts do create our feelings, and then that creates our actions and that creates our results. It's just how the brain works. So once I actually just started to understand more, and then you can actually look at I usually like in all my trainings, I show this graphic of like neuroplasticity and all the neurons and all the paths, right? So when we think about a neural pathway, it's just what we think about all the time. And um, one of my teachers calls it we're just trance monkeys. So when we are practicing, and I use the word practicing really, really intentionally, when we're practicing feelings of fear, when we're practicing feelings of anxiety, we will have neural pathways that fire so quickly there all the time. And we will just go there automatically. It's why it's called the automatic, autonomic nervous system, right? Because automatically, without anything else, you will go there the majority of the time. And we really see this, especially around Americans. Most people are just very angry or very fearful and very scared. And it's just that what you practice all the time, the people who watch the news all the time. I guarantee I understand most people, I know how you are. It's fear-based.

SPEAKER_03 20:36

Yeah. So tell tell me this.

Trauma In The Body And Womb

SPEAKER_03 20:39

So, like, you know, you walk through your own struggle with fear, and even you walk through the struggle of fear as it related to even teaching this stuff. Like, but that fear thing, because I mean, my fear goes back. I I was in so much fear as a child, anxiety as a child. I got shingles by the time I was eight years old.

SPEAKER_01 20:59

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 20:59

And so, like, the stress was unbelievable. Could I I watched, I'll never forget where it happened. I watched a girl choke on a quarter, got lodged in her throat. I had I watched my teacher have to do everything she could to get this, and her face was turning purple. Finally, got the quarter unlodged from her throat, and it sent me down a cycle for six six years old, seven years old, eight years old, where it would take me two to three hours to chew my dinner, to eat it, to swallow food, like crazy anxiety. And uh, and there were other things that contributed to that. My dad was a police officer, we were shot at, house was broken into, robbed. Like, there's a lot of other traumatic things connected to it. But um, so you carry fear. What what was there like a specific moment where you realized that the fear you were carrying wasn't just spiritual, like it was physical.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

100%. I think we over-spiritualize a lot of things that but really it's usually just how our brain is carrying things. And when we talk about generational trauma, it's usually that. As in, how do we get fear? For the most part, when we are in our mother's womb, we take on her nervous system. Think about it. We're forming and we can feel all of her feelings and emotions. So if you have a mom, which frankly most females are a little bit chronically stressed, hypervigilant, especially if it's your first kid, or maybe you've had miscarriages. Even if you don't want to be, you can be praying about it the whole time. But there's subconsciously these little fears, and it's how they probably grew up and whatnot. That is what a baby is their brain's not fully formed. All they can do is field through the soma, the body, right? So we pick that all up. And then once we're born, again, all we are big feelers, big, big, big feelers until the brain's fully formed. And so our core memories and core imprints, I'd say to the age zero to 14, probably zero to seven, are the core ones that you don't even have to remember these memories, but you feel them. You probably heard the book The Body Keeps Score.

SPEAKER_02 23:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

Yeah. So the body knows it. Even when the stress response, the thing, the memory is far gone. So what ends up happening is we carry these all along forever, not forever, but until something happens, right?

SPEAKER_03 23:45

Under under the spiritual guise, you know, like this is all spiritual, right? Demonic.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

Yeah. Right. Like you're gonna cast it out. Yeah. When really it's just how your brain and body has been holding things. And then if you don't change any of it, you pass the same thing down to your kids, right? Because think of what I just talked about, the cycle of your mom and your dad, and just picking up everything as little feelers as kids from our parents, or like in your example, a big thing that happened, a big traumatic event. And trauma is just stress that never left the body. And it's slow looping, slow looping.

SPEAKER_03 24:20

It's a great definition. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:23

And most people don't, well, um, oftentimes, if you have a big tea trauma, like a uh something very traumatic that happened, as long as you had someone there or you can talk about it or process it after, a lot of people can move on fairly quickly. Where I find really, really hurts people is all this low-grade trauma, all the low grade chronic stress, the little events where you didn't feel loved as a kid or you couldn't speak up or whatever. Those are the ones you carry with you for 20, 30 years. You bring in the forms of hypervigilance, and then we are all little children acting out. So, for example, maybe you want to start a business and you're posting on social media and you have this immense fear of being seen. That didn't just start because of Instagram, that started when you were bullied when you were seven years old. So, this is why I say it's I mean, there's spiritual components to everything, but also like it lives in the brain and body. Can God heal all of that in a second? Absolutely. Um, and I think it's definitely worth, even after listening to this, like asking God to reveal and to highlight the things that need to be neutralized or processed.

SPEAKER_03 25:34

Wow, that is good. That is good stuff to think about because again, if you're carrying fear around and you're operating anxiety, people are gonna say, just go read your Bible, just go pray, just go, and and all of that's great if you if you know the Holy Spirit in a way where he can lead you through some of this work. Right, right, but we're like people don't, yeah. So, so like okay, so here's

Regulation Helps You Hear God

SPEAKER_03 26:02

another problem. I'm gonna throw this at you and see what you think about this.

SPEAKER_02 26:04

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 26:05

So if so, growing up Pentecostal legalism, so very much in tune with Holy Spirit, but Holy Spirit is taught to us more instead of a comforter, he's more like an accuser. And so, like, Holy Spirit comes in and then he's always reminding you of what a terrible person you are, always reminding you of your sin, always reminding you, uh, and and so again, more like the accuser instead of the comforter who comes in and goes, Okay, yes, like we're not like not trying to act like none of that didn't happen, yeah, but like, will we allow the Holy Spirit to come in and actually lead us through a renewal of our mind, our body? Um, and I'll be honest with you, like I watched my wife step into this before I did. And so the Holy Spirit started speaking to her about breathing. And I was like, you better be careful with that, you know, and and like regulating her nervous system, like you better be careful with that. But here's the deal at the end of the day, as she started practicing those things, I was more partnered with the accuser, she was more partnered with the with the comforter, and she had a lot better fruit than I did.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

Oh, it's so good. It's so good because what I have found with everyone I've taught, or what I've witnessed and seen, when you can calm your nervous system, when you can come to more connection, more groundness, whatever it might be, you can hear God so much better. But the people who are in performance mode or who are like, I'm reading my Bible, answer, please, answer, really, right? You're thinking about it, you're thinking about it, you're you're stressed, you're worried. Instead of sitting with this is the promise, God, thank you. I know you're answering me. Thank you so much. When the answer comes, thank you. I got it, right? It's it's a completely different state that the answer is already there, the promises are already there. Thank you and amen, right? When you can get into that state that is actual just like gratitude, abundance, everything's already answered. Whether you tell me now, whether you tell me in two minutes, it like it is such a different posture to walk around life in. You're not begging anymore, you're not sitting practicing how bad or hard things are and why it's hard for you. And even in your worship, you're thinking it's hard, right? Like, oh, it's hard for me. I'm sad. Like, even worship becomes about you versus when you are more connected, when you're more grounded, you just live from a place of gratitude, knowing everything's already going to be answered.

SPEAKER_03 28:38

So good. Yeah, that's right. So, so let's let's get into this because you're giving a lot of great things away and and helping people understand.

Inside A 90-Minute Rewiring Session

SPEAKER_03 28:50

But like, I know that you actually do this uh, you know, work with people. And so, like, walk me through like a 90-minute session. Okay, what literally happens? What does a person do? And and and what do you do?

SPEAKER_00 29:05

Yeah, such a great question. So I I really look at two two different areas. So, first and foremost, can you regulate your own nervous system? So I will usually help clients map where they go most of the time. So, for example, oh, let's do it, right? Okay, do you tend to be a more overactive thinker, planner, always like kind of fast mind, go, go, go? So, like I mentioned before, the like over person, the over functioning, or do you tend to maybe practice a little bit more um apathy, shutdown, like stuckness?

SPEAKER_03 29:44

Over. Over.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

Over. Okay, great. So if you are an over person, do you notice throughout the day? So let's do an audit maybe of yesterday. Do you notice that you practice more anxiety, fear, worry, panic, um, or more of like a fight, like an anger frustration?

SPEAKER_03 30:06

Um, I'm like in a really good space now, but I would say normally it would be leaning towards like it's more of the frustration and like, come on, let's let's get it moving. Let's go.

SPEAKER_00 30:19

Yeah. Yeah. So what I've noticed, like a lot of men tend to go there first. And those are the stages, right? You usually go fight, right? You're either gonna fight the lion or flight. You're going to run away for the lion. I've noticed, and this is a broad, broad generalization, but a lot of females practice a lot more flight, which is anxiety, panic, worry. So I'd first have you map that out. Okay, so typically when stress arises, you might go into a little bit of frustration. And so from there, I would, and this would be outside a 90-minute session, like the typical one, but this is the two halves, right? So now number one, can you regulate your nerve system? Number two, the brain you're wiring. So I'll get to that in a moment. So then I would give you tools when you're noticing that you were in the fight response to turn off that response and go back into the more like peace and groundedness.

SPEAKER_01 31:08

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 31:09

So that'd be one thing. And everyone's a bit different. Um, and it's definitely like nuanced for everyone where they go as well. But I want all my clients to be able to identify what are the two main emotional patterns that you practice all day, every day, knowing with neuroplasticity, we can completely change that. And these are the things that actually block us from our assignment. As in, if we're so frustrated or angry or fearful, whatever it is, we don't move towards the thing we actually want.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

True.

SPEAKER_00 31:43

So I want to understand what are the emotional blockers that are getting in someone's way of their big mission. That's part one.

SPEAKER_02 31:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

And then part two, so say we were to do what I call a neurorewiring session. Um, the client will come to me with something that they desire. So, and like they and they can't, they can't move forward. So it could be a pattern, like, I don't know, um like building their business. So I work with most people on like building their business around money, visibility, showing up or stress related. So a lot of women will come to me. I want to show up more boldly on Instagram, for example, or I want to stop burning out. So I would get their objective, and then I would understand the pattern that's actually running the show in the form of what I mentioned earlier. What is the belief? So when we get to what is the belief, the only reason we have beliefs is number one, because we have a lot of evidence of it. Or, and number two, is it all feels so so real though, because we have an emotional response to it, like you were saying, anger or fear or hiding or whatever it is. So we would understand then what is the actual evidence. So, what are all the memories that you have? Like you were saying when you were what six or seven years old? Like fear started then. You could trace it back to like kind of how it started.

SPEAKER_02 33:12

Oh yeah, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

And then we would release that. So throughout the body, I do different techniques. I do um it's all neuroplasticity, but I do something called like faster tapping. I have people make like funny noises with their mouth, anything to like calm their system, but get out of the constant loop of thinking about it. So for you, for example, um, if you were to tell me um, I'm still practicing a ton of fear, we would trace back to what you were saying, like growing up, some of the things that you had, like with your dad and whatnot. And what typically happens for most people, like I said, it usually goes back to the ages of zero to 14. It's just showing up in your life now. And also, we usually have to neutralize stuff around their parents because a lot of these things, like I said, aren't necessarily ours. So, for example, I grew up over functioning, always practicing anxiety and worry, and I got that both from my dad and my mom in different contexts.

SPEAKER_03 34:18

Well, this neutralizing parents thing. I'm about to invite you back for episode two, just on that, because this is something people don't talk about. We call it in the spirit spiritual circles, generational curses. Exactly. Yeah, and it's more generational environment.

SPEAKER_00 34:36

Yeah. And the thing is, I what's sometimes challenging is that we're like, no, but I love my mom. I love my dad. And we do. It doesn't mean that you don't know everyone, but like, but the little, like I told you, like I said earlier, the little stress loops that are open, your subconscious just copies, paste, copies, paste, copies, paste every single day until we say, like, oftentimes God will show people memories, like, hey, this needs to be actually changed. You need to bring Jesus into this memory or Holy Spirit into this memory, or whatever, because your body is remembering this. And then like all of our thoughts usually are just from yesterday. So that when I say mind renewal, I know I do a way deeper mind renewal than most people, but it helped me find so much freedom because I was just recycling old stress loops and they were looping over and over and over again around confidence, around worthiness, whatever it is, even though I wouldn't say I'm thinking about my mom right now.

SPEAKER_03 35:37

Yeah, yeah. It's good, yeah. Wow. So, so like when you start bringing up terms like rewiring the brain, or you know, you haven't used this term, but a lot of people do reprogram the subconscious. Yeah, so like in plain English, like what's actually changing? Is this like is this just a metaphor to help people cope? Or is there something physically actually happening in them?

SPEAKER_00 36:05

When you say physically happening in them, you mean like their actual like brain?

SPEAKER_02 36:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:12

Something physically is actually happening with in within them. So when, and I don't, I can't tell you exactly because I can't put a map up to your brain, but what we know and what we've seen through science, through research, is the neural pathways actually will change when we, for lack of better terms, neutralize some of the memories that are causing fear base, right? When amygdala, when your cortisol, when all these things are firing, firing, firing. So you can see it actually in the brain neural pathways themselves. But also where most people feel it the quickest after is in their bodies. So all of a sudden, they're not feeling the constriction around their neck when they're going to speak, or they don't feel the resistance that procrastinates them for hours before, you know, showing up on stage or whatever, whatever it might be. So there's, I really see it twofold is yes, there's actual like brain chemistry changing, then how they actually physically feel in their body starts to change. And I would actually, I would actually add a third, which I'm just getting into now. So I'm actually getting into DNA and genetic testing. Um, so that's another fun area that we see. And because a lot of what happened to me, because I was under so much stress often, my mitochondria, what produces energy, was zapped, completely zapped. So I've done things to support mitochondria, and I have actually done genetic testing that can show many reasons why I was so sick before. So I guarantee after a lot of this work too, you could probably see different ways that your genes are actually expressing, but you can then see things like that in your cortisol, blood panels, certain things like that. Don't quote me on all of those.

SPEAKER_03 38:00

I'm just getting into it, but yeah, no, I think that's good. I think that's great. So, so like let me let me ask you this. Sorry, I'm just I've been so excited to ask you these questions and jump in.

Regulation Versus Belief Removal

SPEAKER_03 38:13

Like, okay, because I know you talk a lot about like calming, but then also like removing, like belief on the belief side. So, like, what's the difference between the nervous system side, which is the calming, and the subconscious belief side, which is the removing? Are those like two different things or are those one thing?

SPEAKER_00 38:36

So both and hand in hand. Um, so you'll hear a lot of people use those terms actually very interchangeably the nervous system, the subconscious mind. Um, when I think, and this is just how I perceive it, everyone's gonna have a completely different way that they teach it or embody it or whatever it might be. So when I think about the nervous system, I do think, but well, let me let me back up. When I talk about regulating the nervous system, that is not always to feel calm. So it's probably one of the biggest misconceptions is let me do some regulation tools and then I will feel calm. That was huge for me. I did feel that. However, it's really the ability to be connected wherever you are so and move forward, I would say. So I'm thinking, I'm talking more like increasing your capacity.

SPEAKER_02 39:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 39:38

So when you are able to be, let's think about the best CEOs in the whole wide world, right? They are very regulated. Now that doesn't mean tough things don't come at them all day, every day. They have the ability to be present with it and move forward, to be present with it, not spiral and hide. So when I think about someone who has like a lot of capacity or has more regulated nervous system, it's not that they don't feel the fear. It's not that they don't feel the stress. Our bodies are literally designed to go through all of the states. If we don't have enough fight or flight energy, we won't get up and walk around, right? We won't exercise. So I do want to be really clear that these none of these states are bad. They're God-given. He gave us all emotions, he gave us all like um ways of being in the three main different states, but it's the ability to notice it, come back into a felt sense of safety and move forward.

SPEAKER_02 40:41

That's really good.

SPEAKER_00 40:43

That's the way more I think of it. And everyone's gonna have a completely different capacity based on where you are in your healing journey, on the roles that you have in life, and so on. So I think about that when I talk about um regulation or capacity. Now, on the flip side, and this is just kind of the care method, like what I've learned, honestly. Um, if I think about what dysregulates you. So, what has actually created the overfunctioning, the anxiety, the fear, whatever, that comes back to the core beliefs that are recycling through you. So then when I go to that level, we change those, how that is presenting in your brain. That actually automatically starts to create regulation in your system because you no longer have these lies just circulating through your brain all the time. So I really like to think of it as a like a twofold approach.

SPEAKER_03 41:38

Yeah, I love that because you know, like I think a couple, a couple things here. Number one, I think this neuroscience uh path is gonna prove the gospel and beloved identity more than any other thing ever has because we're gonna find it, and secondly, it's gonna expose religion faster than any other thing. So, like, it's it's kind of like doing this two-fold approach here of like, it's gonna confirm the love of God and the gospel and the good news of Jesus, and then it's also gonna expose the fact that the Western Church has made bad news good news, and like, and it's gonna expose religion so much faster, and it's gonna get us out of some of this over-emphasis on demonology and the demonic, and actually give us some real footing, real standing on understanding how God created us and renewing our mind, and and so and so like I think that's gonna happen, but I but I have to ask this question because I'm sure you've dealt with

When To Seek Clinical Help

SPEAKER_03 42:42

this. So, like, where's the honest line here? Because like I'm looking at the mental health of our generation, and like we thank God for neuroscience because it it's gonna help us um tremendously. But like, you know, I'm watching on the news the other day, or not the news, it was just like my social media feed, and they're have have you seen the story about Perez Hilton? I have, and like just just devastating, and like I should not have watched that video, but I was not five seconds of it because I was like, what are they talking about? Five seconds it and it was like right as it was happening, pretty much, and I was like, nope, can't watch this. This is crazy. And I'm sitting here going, like, okay, that person is at a place right now where they need help. Okay. So, like, where's the honest line here of who is this not for? And and when should somebody be seeing a doctor or a licensed therapist instead of doing this work? Just a question.

SPEAKER_00 43:48

Yeah. So I I personally don't work with people in that type of chronic state, like, really higher, for lack of better word, higher mental illness, like um. You know, if they're in an active like eating disorder or in something active right now, I don't I don't work with that. Um in a lot of the modalities that I'm trained with, people do. I will say that people do, I don't. I more so work with people around um business, assignment, mission, things like that. So I would definitely say I'm on the lighter side there.

SPEAKER_03 44:24

So so let me ask you this though. But do you believe, because I do, do you believe that if people, if our generation would learn this, we could keep from getting people people getting to those places?

SPEAKER_00 44:37

A hundred percent. Yeah. I that's the point of the question for me is like oh yeah, there's a lot of nuance around it, but I believed if people learn to practice more love and hold more love, and their automon autonomic nervous system state went to more of that versus all these other things. And the overall religion didn't teach so much shame and guilt. As in when there's sins, when there's bad things that happen, when the person keeps doing bad things, they don't want to be right. People don't want to be stuck in these horrible cycles, they want help. And we have to, and then what often happens is we just shame them, read your Bible more, pray more.

SPEAKER_03 45:30

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 45:31

Go get more and more deliverance. And what people actually need is to remove the shame and the guilt, that they are horrible beings of society and that they are looked on, and everyone in the church is side-eyeing them. That feels horrible, and that keeps them in old childhood patterns that they are not worthy.

SPEAKER_03 45:49

Come on, girl, talk about that. I mean, like that's that's real. Like there are people that are coming to the church to get the good news, and instead they get their trauma reinforced.

SPEAKER_01 46:02

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 46:03

And and and then worse than that, then Jesus gets the blame for it. And I'm like, man, there's a big gap between who Jesus is and how he's represented in the Church of the West.

SPEAKER_00 46:16

Like, I actually I completely agree. And I've lived all over the world, so I've seen it in very, very different ways. And I actually, like to the Prez Hilton example, I saw someone come on and say, Well, you know, as a new Christian, you need to put on the armor of God every day. He must not put it on. And I'm like, is I find sometimes, and I like I was actually really hesitant to share a lot of this stuff because there's no one that has given me more grief, more rejection, more heartache than Christians. And that is not okay.

SPEAKER_03 46:47

No, it's not. We're a superiority. Yeah, like we're supposed to be leading the way in changing the way that we think. Like, I think people forget the opening statement of Christ in his preaching ministry was the word repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. That word repent in the Greek is metanoia. It literally means to change the way that you think. And so, like, we should be leading and on the cutting edge of neuroscience. We should be leading the way in neurostrategy, like, we should be leading the way in all of these things because a kingdom person is truly a person that's constantly in the process of changing the way that we think.

SPEAKER_00 47:33

100%. And that's what it is when it comes up, right? Asking God, where'd that come from? Help me heal that, right? We all have like bad memories or beliefs or things that come up in us, but often we just look to blame someone else or something else, or like, right? It's it's always within. And something that really, really helped me actually as I was going through that was thinking like he's in me and I'm in him. He's in me and I'm in him, he's in me, and I'm in him. So when Christians were coming at me, like, well, I hope you regulate your nervous system with Jesus, I'm like, I can't not. I can't not, right?

SPEAKER_03 48:07

But see, that's religion too. Religion is has the illusion of separation.

SPEAKER_00 48:12

100%. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:15

Wow.

Reign From Rest As A Practice

SPEAKER_03 48:16

Keep going. I didn't I didn't mean to.

SPEAKER_00 48:17

Oh, no, no, no. Um, uh, but just another like real revelation that the Lord showed me and how I help people, like how I help women specifically, and the term he kept saying was rain from rest. I want you to help people rain from rest. And I'm me. I'm the most stress-anxious person there is. What do you mean, me? And what I was shown, and I'm gonna butcher the verse right now, but the the woman who builds her house and tears it down in the same breath. Yeah, he kept showing me that over and over and over. And I was like, oh my gosh. Okay. And I really think a lot of women, they build these like big businesses or homes or lives or whatever that they want, like that they thought they want and they desire. And at the same time, their thoughts and beliefs and feelings tear it all right down, or you can't enjoy it because you're so stressed or hypervigilant or not able to rest. And there's really like the art of fulfillment is like really just being able to sit in the finished work. And that in and of itself, if I were to give anyone like a regulating practice, I would say practice that. When you practice over and over and over again, sitting there and feeling good, feeling grateful, whatever it might be, that changes your whole biology and chemistry.

SPEAKER_03 49:36

That is so good.

Two Fast Tools For Safety

SPEAKER_03 49:38

Yeah, I was gonna ask you, you know, to give our listeners like one thing that they could do tonight in like 60 seconds to like really signal safety to their nervous system.

SPEAKER_00 49:49

Okay. Um, well, I'm gonna give two. So one off of that one, because every high, high performer needs this one, is practice a happy memory. So just pick one memory that felt when you felt really safe and close your eyes and actually go through it, mentally go through it, see it, feel it, notice it, and automatically you will shift.

unknown 50:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:18

I I do this in session all the time. And you will see everyone like lightning, and and that is really the joy of the Lord, right? And so um, I would say practice uh one or two memories over and over and over again. I mean, the same thing is with worship music, right? Like you can kind of get into that same type of state, but this is a very specific neural tool. And the more you practice that, number one, you're signaling safety to your body, which then if you are someone who doesn't live in that type of safety all the time, when you practice that, that changes the neural pathways. And so your brain starts to say, wait, through repetition, it's safer for me to be here all the time. So that is one practice I give to all my high performers. They don't usually do it for a while, and then I'm like, just go back to it because they're like, what is this really doing? This is productive. This isn't, and I'm like, I'm telling you, when you know, when you actually tell you show your brain how to live in more states of joy, peace, and connection all the time, you will be safe to work like that, you will be safe to show up on stages like that, you will be safe to like whatever's coming at you, be more and more like that. That's number one. Number two. Okay, you said you go to anger sometimes or frustration sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 51:31

Yeah, yeah, it's like it's not so much an anger, but is like a frustration of like, why is this taking so long? Like, let's get going.

SPEAKER_00 51:40

Okay, can we do one together?

SPEAKER_03 51:42

Yeah, let's do it.

SPEAKER_00 51:43

Okay, we're just gonna do a really simple one. We're gonna do just a hum. Okay. So um we have something called the vagus nerve that runs through the back of the stem all the way through the stomach. And when you do certain activities, um, it can actually calm the vagus nerve, which signals to that to go into parasympathetic. So, what I want you to do is I want you to think of a time that you felt that little bit of frustration. And then you're gonna put your hand on your belly button and we're gonna breathe in together, and then we're gonna hum for a really long time.

SPEAKER_02 52:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 52:17

Okay. It's important through the belly button. Why I say this is because most people breathe actually through their chest, which is it's still very sympathetic, fight or flight dominant. So when we bring our breath all the way down through the belly button, that actually stimulates gets you more into the parasympathetic.

SPEAKER_02 52:32

Wow. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 52:34

Okay, so hands on your belly button. First, think about a time that felt the frustration. One to ten, how strong is it?

SPEAKER_03 52:48

Uh let's let's go, let's go nine.

SPEAKER_00 52:51

Nine, okay. How do you know you're frustrated? What does it feel like?

SPEAKER_03 52:54

Um just aggravated that I'm in that situation. Just like super frustrated.

SPEAKER_00 53:01

Okay, so does frustration feel like tightness for you somewhere?

SPEAKER_03 53:06

No. Your jaw.

SPEAKER_00 53:08

Where do you feel it in your body?

SPEAKER_03 53:10

Jaw for sure. Like clenched teeth a little bit. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 53:13

So notice that nine. Frustration. And then together, deep breath in. And pause at the bottom. Notice anything shifting. And we'll do another one together.

SPEAKER_02 53:37

Deep breath in and then take a deep breath in.

SPEAKER_00 53:54

And long exhale out. And when you go back to the jaw area, what does that feel like now?

SPEAKER_03 54:03

It's like relaxed, totally. Just open. Take a little nap.

SPEAKER_00 54:11

From zero to ten, where how does that feel now?

SPEAKER_03 54:14

Oh, it's great. Um like a one.

SPEAKER_00 54:20

Perfect. See how fast you can shift.

SPEAKER_03 54:24

It's it's so wild because I think I told you this in a voice memo thing that I sent when I was in Nashville.

Mark’s Stillness And Inner Healing

SPEAKER_03 54:33

I went through this, like it was like eight hours of just understanding, like a deep dive into neuroscience and walking through these practices. And I got into such a place of inner stillness that like when it was when it was over with, I I literally told myself, do not look at anybody, do not talk to anybody, go straight to your vehicle. And I literally like left the session and I went into the most tender three-hour encounter with Jesus I've ever had in my life.

SPEAKER_01 55:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:09

And he literally healed me of things in my childhood that I thought I wasn't even possible. Like I went back and I know this may freak some people out, it is what it is, but I met like my eight-year-old self and and like realized that there's an image and a picture that I've had in my mind about that eight-year-old, which if I translate back to that, it's when I got shingles, when I lost my grandmother, when we moved to a new house. A lot of stuff happened in that time period. And I've always had this image of myself. When the encounter's over, I'm no longer stuck in the picture that I see, but eventually that little boy gets to go home.

SPEAKER_01 55:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:53

And it was like this I will never, ever, it's not that I ever dishonor. So, like when I use the word dishonor, I think some people think when you say dishonor something, you mean you're being vile and gross and just completely disrespectful. I think the word dishonor goes to the place of just treating something as common. And like true dishonor is just to treat something as common. And so, like I realized my entire life that I looked at the neuroscience, inner healing, those kind of things, and did not give it its proper respect. And I left from this like two-day deal where it was all about mind renewal, transformation, neuroscience. And I it was like a deliverance without all the religious garbage of that that we've been taught. And it brought instantaneous physical change to my being.

unknown 57:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 57:01

And um, and so it's a big part of my life, it's a big part of what I'm studying right now. It's a big reason why I have you on the podcast today, is because I'm like, this needs to be talked about more in the church because my audience is all church people, um, and and and a lot of pastors and leaders. And I'm telling you right now, pastors and leaders, we're we're like the worst because not only are we hard on ourselves, but we also carry the burden of all the people that we're leading. Yeah, and um yeah, it's just crazy. So, yeah, anyways, um, really, really thankful for this. And I have like so many other questions that I want to ask you, but I'm gonna respect your time and um and hopefully maybe one day I can get you back on. Um yeah, let's do it. Round two. Um, so let me let me ask you this kind of in closing. Like, there are a lot of people watching this from different walks of life, genders, different things. Okay, so who is the person uh who should book a session with you like

Who To Work With And Next Steps

SPEAKER_03 58:10

right now? Describe them um so that so that the people watching can kind of recognize I need this.

SPEAKER_00 58:17

Yeah, I would say high performers, leaders, if you consider yourself like a go-getter, you're driving towards something, right? So maybe it is some of the people that you mentioned that are holding a lot. You're holding a lot of people, you're experiencing that over functioning, right? The overthinking, kind of the rumination, despite praying a lot, right? Despite bringing it to the Lord. And um, and or if you're building something. So I don't know if that's taking more stages, going on more podcasts, um, leading more people, building a brand, like things that you're doing, right? Showing up, which you're so amazing at, by the way. A lot of people really struggle with that. Um, so whether there's visibility, speaking on stages, anything that's really like, I want to be doing this, but I know I can be doing it one, calmer, or two, with more boldness, with more vigor, without overthinking, without second guessing, without freezing beforehand. Those are the people that I tend to work with most.

SPEAKER_03 59:16

So good. So where if somebody wanted to book a session, where do you want people to go? And and and what happens after they reach out?

SPEAKER_00 59:23

Yeah. So if you want to connect with me on Instagram, I'm usually most active there. So it's just my name, Kara Baruni. Um, I can send you the link there. I think you're gonna maybe put one of the links in there if you want to book straight a session, and then you'll just get an email and you can book through with that. Um, but if you want to chat with me a little bit before, I can just message on Instagram if there's something like specific that you want to talk about covering and whatnot. Um, happy to send some voice notes and go through that way as well.

SPEAKER_03 59:48

Yeah, well, YouTube let me down because I practiced your last name on YouTube, like how to pronounce it, and it was like Barone, and it's Baruni. Okay, I got it.

SPEAKER_00 59:59

Do you know what it is? It was a show everyone loves Raymond.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:02

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:03

And they called themselves Barone. And so then everyone said Barone, but yes, we pronounced the E at least for me, Baroni. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:10

Baruni. Okay, awesome. Well, listen, Kara, thank you so much. Um, this was so good. You gave some absolute gold in this and helping people understand and to get this journey started. And I think a lot of people just heard something that they've tried to literally put in words for years. So um, listen, if you're watching this today, if that if this conversation was for you, don't sit on it. Kara offers a 90-minute session. It's going to help you calm your nervous system, clear out the fear and the lies that are running underneath it.

Stewardship Of Mind And Body

SPEAKER_03 1:00:45

You can reach out to her again, like she said on Instagram at Kara Baroni, or you can grab a session directly at the link in the description below. So go take that step and hear me on this before you go, okay? Tending to your mind and your body is not a lack of faith, it's actual stewardship. God gave you that nervous system, and caring for it is a part of walking in the freedom that he already paid for. So I just want to say this to you you're not behind, you're not too much, and you're not alone. So thanks for being a part of the shepherd's tent today, and I'll see you on the next episode.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:22

Thanks, everyone.